What Would You Do?
WWYD In the run-up to Christmas, the home is decorated, festive music is playing, and staff are encouraged to wear Christmas jumpers. A group activity is planned with carols, mince pies, and Christmas games.
One resident quietly says, “I don’t celebrate Christmas. It brings back sad memories and I’d rather be left out of it.”
Staff feel torn.
• Some believe everyone should be included to avoid loneliness.
• Others feel respecting the resident’s wishes is part of person-centred care.
• The family say, “It’s Christmas — they should join in.”
What would you do?
Do you gently encourage participation for togetherness, or respect the resident’s choice to opt out — even during such a communal time of year?
How can we promote festive joy while still preserving individual dignity and choice?
My position, for what it's worth, and based on your own words, would be:
You gently encourage participation for togetherness, and if the resident still doesn't wish to join in then you respect the resident’s choice to opt out.
i would encourage the resident to join the activity, for togetherness, but respect there wishes if thy decline
Christmas can be a lonely time for some people if they have lost someone speacial
you can be lonely in a crowded room
Share the resident's perspective with the staff, highlighting the importance of person-centred care. Encourage them to respect the resident’s wishes while also fostering an inclusive environment, including different activities such as Crafting, A movie, puzzles
Firstly, I'd just like to say thank you for starting these WWYD scenarios. They are thought provoking and can be used in training.
It should be entirely the persons own choice, but as Anjel says, other non-festive activities the person does enjoy should be of high importance so they are not left isolated. I would also recognise that this is a difficult time for them and let them know that you are there for them if they want a chat over a cup of tea.
Regulation 10, Dignity and respect say 'People must be supported to be involved in their community as much or as little as they wish. Providers must actively work with people who wish to maintain their involvement in their local community as soon as they begin to use a service. The provider must make sure that people are not left unnecessarily isolated'.
You may read that as community outside the home, but I see it as both, especially if the person is living in a care home and is unable to get out.
I think you have to put yourself in the persons position....
Think of one activity you would hate to do, maybe because it makes you sad, irritable, bored or overwhelmed. Imagine everyone trying to jolly you along, saying, it will be fun, when you just can't face it. How would it make you feel?
With regard to the family, gently reminding them that you have to respect individual choices and other alternatives are available to their loved one, so they are not alone during the festive period.
Wishing you all at Dignity in Care a restful festive season and happy and healthy 2026.
Really appreciating the thoughtful and thorough responses here, definitely got me thinking and feeling!
Thank you all for working with Dignity this year and yes wishing you a very merry Christmas and a wonderful 2026
Thanks to everyone for your very considerate and thought provoking responses to these dilemmas. . I have been setting these most weeks on the Dignity in Action Facebook page and Yes they are very useful training resources. Do look them up. Thankyou for all your efforts to ensure everyone is afforded their right to be treated with dignity. Very best seasonal greetings.
I would absolutely respect their personal choice and preferences. I would also ask if there was anything I could do to help them feel better. I would be inclined to suggest other activities that they may prefer to help to take their mind of the sad thoughts and lift their mood, if possible. Always aim to be as person-centered as possible. Then suggest at any point they wish, they can rejoin the group activities.