What Would You Do? Dementia Care

A resident with advanced dementia asks staff several times a day,
“When is my husband coming to collect me?”
Her husband died many years ago.
One staff member gently reminds her each time that he has died, but the resident reacts as though hearing the news for the first time — becoming distressed, tearful, and inconsolable.
Another staff member says,
“Why keep putting her through grief? Just tell her he’s at work and will visit later.”
A third colleague feels uncomfortable with either approach and argues that lying to residents undermines dignity and trust.
The team is divided.
* Is truth always the most respectful option?
* Is emotional comfort more important than factual accuracy?
* Or is there another way to respond altogether?
What would you do?
💬 Can preserving dignity sometimes mean stepping away from the truth — or does dignity depend on honesty, even when it causes pain?