An end-of-life question which 'cannot be asked' - and its answer which 'cannot be ignored'
I have recently read two different court rulings, by Mr Justice Hayden, who is a judge at the Court of Protection.
Last Wednesday I decided to send an e-mail to the Court of Protection, and to ask if it is possible to send material to a judge: I expected the answer 'no' but on Thursday I was sent an e-mail giving me the e-mail address for Mr Justice Hayden's clerk. I will be sending an e-mail to his clerk, with 2 PDFs attached to it, in the hope that Mr Justice Hayden might look at them. One PDF is very lengthy, but the other is quite short.
I have attached the short one here - it is a brief discussion of that question which 'we cannot ask' during end-of-life: the question is 'would you prefer to be dead, now?'.
Associated files and links:
-
The Question we Cannot Ask
Downloaded: 735 times
I read the article attached to this email. It relates so much to what I am experiencing at the moment.
As an HCA in a nursing home I very often have experienced an individual telling me that they wish that they were not here anymore. Those words pull at my heart strings every time I hear them. I really hope that the support and comfort that I give to individuals helps in some way.
I strongly believe that it is not always what you are saying, but the manner in which it is said is key. Good listening skills and body language is important to keep the individual feeling safe and valued and this may help them feel they are not a burden, and therefore less likely to want to express that they don't want to be around.
I mentioned that recalling the conversation with my mum 'makes the tears flow' - but, I didn't explain that in the PDF. I have explained it in my tweet at
https://twitter.com/MikeStone2_EoL/status/905038869934084096
See the bottom of the image attached to the tweet, for why I think 'the tears flow'.
It's the manner of your response when clients saying to you they've had enough of this life which can open up honest discussion sometimes they need to know and be reassured that these feeling are completely natural.
I've always tried to get to the underlining problem they are experiencing are they having more pain is it anything to do with family or money worries, letting them know that they can confide in confidence and they are not alone can I've found support them through these feelings.