I Laugh With You Sometimes

Heather Macken used a personal experience to inspire her to write this poem for Dignity in 1994.

I Laugh With You Sometimes

I laugh with you sometimes

and say foolish things,

I try to be brave

and think you won't notice,

I am crying inside.

My words muddle up,

though I know what I mean

I get so confused

I wish I could scream!

I am crying inside.

I am in the wrong body,

my minds not my own.

I live in a large house

and long for my home.

I am crying inside.

I forget the last minute

''What was it you said?

i remember my childhood

but can't find my bed!

I am crying inside.

Where are my family?

my Father my Mother?

all the friends I have known

where has time gone to?

I am crying inside.

I long for my last bed

my pillow the grave.

yet i cling on , I am so afraid.

''Won't somebody hear me!''

I am dying.

I am crying inside.'

Heather Macken. 1994.